So how do I start this. It was a humid summer night. Me and my friend (same friend from the "I farted in a cup" were at a buddy's party. Mind you, these are rich white kids with flabbergast-able access to alcohol.
By now, you would be able to picture where this story is going. Me and my friend went outside with a couple of beers and we sat down and started blabbering on and on about whatever teenage boys like to blab about.
Anyhoo,
Across our view, we noticed this "scene boy" with 2 piercings on his lips, 2 on his nose, 3 on his eyebrow, countless number of earrings, and we swear, we could make out a "Prince Albert." Judging by how many girls were trying to "fuck his balls" pardon my french, it wasn't exactly out of the realm of believability that if even it is only a one to a million chance that a girl accidentally poked a hole through his dick, he were 60% sure he had a Prince Albert.
So here we are. Two guys sitting by ourselves outside on the porch. One with a slightly stark boner for whatever reason and the other puking on the sidewalk (guess which one I am.)
Pretend that you were watching this scene from a movie theatre. The director is trying to show you the comparison between the two of these groups.
So we have on one side:
Scene
- Very good looking guy
- Numerous girls around him(regardless of beauty)
- Not a virgin (way he walks)
- Just fucked 30 girls (way he walks)
- SAUSAGE FEST
Though me and my buddy were slightly drunk, we weren't so drunk that we could not notice this differentiation. But alas, we were young then...
After discussing it for quite some time, we concluded that this scene boy is only popular among the females because he has PIERCINGS!
We were young and naive...
So what we decided to do, well, not technically me. What my friend decided to do was he wanted to pierce himself and me as the bystander, had to aide him in his daring journey into the dark minds of Scene kids and Soft Goth alike.
He came out shortly with a small needle (I have no clue where he got it) and a stud(I later found out he took it from a passed out person on a couch). And we went to the park.
"I don't want people to seeour piercing cause ya know, its unnatural" but in reality, he just didn't want people to see him cry like a little girl. :)
So me and him were at the park under the roof that leads you to the slides.
We sat down and began our business. I bought a bottle of beer with me to cleanse the needle (which by the way doesn't work).
We had decided to create a lip stud.
"Go."
Sweat was rolling down my eyelids and I couldn't help but think what would happen if I missed. What if I get his tongue? What if I hit his nose and create and extra nostril? He would hate me if he couldn't blow his nose normally anymore!
I took a deep breath and pulled out my bottle of asparin.
"Whats takin so lung buddd?"
Shhhhh and I ingested 5.
Come on you son of a bitch. Don't miss.
My hands were sweaty and shaking.
"You know what? Fuck it." and I dove in.
I pierced as quickly as I possibly could and pulled out just as quick.
FUCK!!?!
I MISSED!
I had hit his nose after all ironically. Thank god I didn't go through.
Thank god he was so drunk, he didn't realize that I had punctured.
"What the fuck?"
"Eh? Nothing. Just missed. I'll try again."
And again, I pierced.
As a sniper is made to snipe as I was made to pierce random parts of a human body.
Swiftly, I made the piercing in his lip.
Honestly, I don't exactly remember what I did and how it looked like so I can't really judge.
He screamed in pain
"WTF!!!"
After 30 mins of saying sorry and trying to soothe his pain with my words, he said "Your turn asshole."
I don't remember this being part of the deal...
After many a convincing, I finally decided to let him pierce me but he didn't think it was fair...
"Look, I did it in an unorthodox place so you should to..."
Wait what? Unorthodox? We're giving each other fucking piercings in the park at fucking 2 in the fucking morning. Don't give me shit about orthodox.
"Regardless, Not the ears or the mouth since I did the mouth which is throbbing pain now..."
After an extensive game of rock paper scissors, he and I finally decided to give me a nipple piercing...
But wait ***** (insert name)! I've seen your nipples! There isn't a hole there!
Shush...
So it's around 3 in the morning now. I called my mom that I'm sleeping over at this very responsible friend's house (he's asain :D ), and my friend is extremely tired and drunk and he's sitting in some corner screaming for some girl named Emily. Haha I laughed at this later.
So both his wounds, fairly bloody, we proceeded to insert a nipple piercing. What to do? I was scared. My shirt was off. It was dark and my friend who was fairly drunk with a thin needle was about to puncture the side of my nipple. That's ok. I was drunk.
He had missed my nipple and actually stabbed the area right underneath my rib and now there's a fairly deep flesh wound there.
The pain was immense! I couldn't focus.
"WTF"
"Dammmmm. It still looks pretty cool."
Anyways, he pulls out 5 grams of pot and we smoked all 5 grams! to null the pain. And that it did.
The next day, my wound was throbbing and i assumed his wound was even worse as it had started turning a different colour. I threw my shirt on and the wound was covered. Walking home, trying to piece together what had happened that night. The walk was 5 hours... fuck me.
The end.
P.S He didn't come to school for a couple days afterwards and we had forgotten to insert the stud in and thus, the piercing closed.
