I farted in this cup...

So I have this friend that we love to play little mean jokes on each other. The most recent one was when he kicked my balls out of the blue. We were just standing beside each other and all of a sudden, a roundhouse kick to my balls!

Pictured above: A roundhouse kick to my balls.

So I was at a coffee shop with this friend a couple of days agoand he asked me to go get him a black coffee. First of all, I was appalled that he could even drink black coffee because frankly, it tastes like pee when it is black.

So i asked him "Why black?" and he said that he was lactose intolerant. WHAT A LITTLE BITCH! Secondly, I was appalled that this little bitch that can't even drink normal coffee was even asking me to go get him some coffee like a little bitch!

So now, think about it this way. This would put me in a position of being the bitch's bitch, putting me at the bottom of the food chain! In order to save my pride, I could do only one thing. Play a disgusting prank on him.

I refuse to be at the bottom.

I went off to get him some coffee. Then I put enough milk and sugar in it to make it a quintuple quintuple! After putting some other condiments in it such as salt and vinegar, I feared that this was not deadly enough. As a last act of desperation, I farted in the cup.

Pictured above: Pure joy.

That's right. I farted in the cup!

So I went to pass him the cup of toxic coffee. The colour was way off the normal black, but he didn't notice. He takes one sip of it and says "What did you put in this coffee?" I say, "Ehh ya know. The usual. MILK MOTHER FUCKER! MILK FROM MY TITTIES!"

He immediately bolts out into the washroom and poops bricks as I was listening from the door.

*Plop plop* the poop goes. Meanwhile, he's cursing at me. "You went overboard this time man! I'm going to get you back for this." I'm apologizing half-halfheartedly because to be honest, I felt a little bit of guilt. That's right. In this deep dark hole that is my heart, I actually felt pity for this pathetic insect that probably feels like it just released a nuclear bomb in its underwear.

So finally, he's done and we're just both laughing at what we had just done while I am preparing for my punishment. My balls began tingling. Always a bad sign.

He asks "What did you put in there anyways?"

I say "I dunno, go check it out."

He opens the cup and takes a whiff of the drink. Next thing you know, he's out cold!

So I'm just standing there wondering what just happened. So finally, I hypothesized what happened.

Now, I'm not saying I'm amazing at chemistry. In fact, I suck at it. But my limited knowledge does tell me that Chlorine gas will knock a bear out and therefore, knocked my friend out.