CRABFUCKINGCORE!

You dont know brutality until you know crabcore!

 

"For the most part, Crabcore is an offshoot of Christcore, with similar hairstyles, v-necks, tight pants and religious beliefs. It appears the only difference between the two (besides excessive vocoder usage, eurodance beats and unnecessary breakdowns every 30 seconds) is that followers of the crabcore persuasion will squat like a girl taking a piss in the woods during their power stances.

Much like the locomotion, macarena, watusi, cabbage patch, mashed potato, and even the urkel, the crabcore craze will be over sooner than it started. Ripped denim crotches everywhere are thankful."

Amen. 

Now why is crabcore so effective? 

Some scientists speculate that this movement is intended to emphasize the rhythm and beat of the break-down section in a song.

Where ever you go, don't forget. Crabcore it up. In school? Crabcore. At the mall? Crabcore. In church? Crabfuckingcore.  Life ain't worth living without the crab fucking core. 

Wanna watch some crabcore? Search Attack Attack! up. Crab fucking live fucking core fuck.

Thank the crabcore gods for blessing us with the creation of crabcore.

Thank you based god for Attack Attack, the missionaries of brutality.  

You don't like crabcore?

It's expressing their beliefs and it's very sad that they're being attacked for standing up for what they believe in. I'm glad they infuse happy electronic beats strangely out of place in their tame metal attack because they're making the point that Jesus can tame and conquer even the most abrasive demons, including those of metal. Standing up for your beliefs should never be mocked or looked down upon. Crabcore 4 lyfe.

Inception

Ok. I watched Inception today and what can I say? It was an interesting story, filled with no plot twists, an extreme large-ass budget so they could hire tons of experienced overrated semi-attractive actors, and bloody dicks. Oh wait that's Piranha 3D (Fucking goodass movie)

Anyways, I was disappointed. Like it was so unrealistic that it was just dumb. Go into your dreams and take information? Well lets think about this clearly. Here we have a young business man that is now the head of a company after his father died. I'm sure he has perverted dreams instead of dreaming about riding in a black car or some random shit. It would have been much harder to evade through a fucking horde of brookie cookies, Blake Livelys', and that one hot glee cheerleader chick than to avoid traffic at rush hour.

Then they go into a dream of a dream where they are in a hotel. Great cause I have dreams in hotels as well.

Then another dream where they are in a fucking snowy ass mountain. Great cause i dream of myself freezing to death or dressed like a fucking ewok.

Ok now you're gonna say. That girl from Juno creates those dreams. Well kk lets put me in that situation. It would be so obvious to me that I'm in a dream because unlike the rest of the 6 billion people in the world, I dream of myself in traffic, in a hotel, or at Russian mountain trying to disarm 50 Call of Duty "Veteran level" Soldiers while at the same time, trying to save a Japanese man that is clearly my opponent in the prostitution ring or whatever it was.

For your information, that was fucking sarcasm. Yeah why would I try to stop the one person that is in my way of becoming the wealthiest person in the world? I wouldn't.

Another thing was that everyone came out of that movie and were like "Inception MIND FUCK". Yeah well you must have one weak ass mind because it wasn't a hard story to understand. They go into dreams to steal information for whoever the buyer is. And then they go into dream in a dream in a dream. Oh my MIND FUCK.

And guess what? It was so obvious that Leonardo Dicaprio was in reality at the end of the movie. Everyone was like "What happened at the end? Oh no I need to know what happened!" Guess what? The top was already starting to topple over so yes he was in reality with his children and his dead wife.

I really like Leonardo Dicaprio. He's a really good actor. Almost too good. In fact so good that he overacted and I couldn't believe it. But by comparisson to the other crappy actors, he was amazing in that movie. THATS RIGHT. I SAID IT. CRAPPY ACTORS. That juno bitch was shitty and i dislike her. She couldn't act for her life. That guy that fought that other guy in the hotel that was like rotating was a boring actor. Sure he was good looking but that's all. That Japanese or Chinese guy that got shot. Ok guess what? Getting shot hurts! I know eh? So strange. I would be screaming in pain if I got shot. But of course. Not even a single squeal or pain stricken scream. Now the the next thing you are gonna say is that he has a humongous pain capacity. Ok I watched Kill Bill and those Japanese guys were like screaming in pain after just a little cut on the chest.

The movie? 7/10 Interesting and it entertained me but if you're looking for a movie that will change your life? Well look somewhere else.

Run Naked, Forest, Run Naked

Yeah i had to run naked around the school's soccer field today... OK exaggeration. Not naked. BUT ONLY BOXERS!

So I lost a game with a friend today and then he stripped me off my pride as his friends held me down to the ground and ripped off my clothing. I still remember the feeling of betrayal and sadness as they clawed at me. Hand after hand. Tears were welling up in my eyes. Just as I lost hope, the men, no the animals, felt some pity for this pathetic animal and decided to leave me with my undergarments. However, this empathy quickly subsided as they proceed to force me over the fence onto the school's locked soccer field.

I started sweating all over, screaming for help. I tried jumping over the fences but as soon as I gripped the fence, they kicked me down.

"Run around."

I starred at them with pleading eyes.

"Don't do this."

They laughed at my demise. So as quickly and dignified as possible, I gathered myself and ran around the track. When I was out of there sight, nothing could stop the tears from streaming down my face.

And there ya have it. My dramatization.

I actually volunteered to do it as apposed to another WAY worse punishment. And there is a video of it. Hopefully, my friends won't see it -.- I flashed my ass at 17 seconds.

"I Miss You" BULLSHIT

Now what do you do when a guy/girl that has either
1) Used you like a garden hoe
2) Played your heart like a game of monopoly
3) Selfish bitchery for 5 weeks straight
4) Future stalker/rapist
Texts you via text "I miss you"? (There may be a face in their somewhere)

This should be the response. (remember this is a text so lets keep it down 1000 letters.)

1st text:
Ok. Well to start things off, why do you miss me? I can't say i miss you at all. Hell these past couple of weeks that we haven't talked at all, wait let me rephrase that. These past couple of weeks where I haven't listened to you bitch for 4 hours straight a night have been a breeze even with exams coming and all. You're probably wondering. Bitch? When do I ever do that? Well lets see. You always complain about your parents being total "assholes" to you while they are extremely lenient of your bratty behavior.

You always complain of your friends ditching you but you keep on overlooking the fact that you are extremely selfish? You always complain of me not talking to you enough but you dismiss the fact that I have my own life as well. You always complain about your life being shit but lets be honest. You are extremely fortunate to have people around you to care enough about you to keep holding on to your crap for as long as I can imagine. I know orphans that have been raped and brutalized that are more "optimistic" than you. Speaking of which, what exactly is so bad about your life that you have to go "emo" yourself up for? Stop being so self-centered.

You think just cause you think nobody "understands" you or blah blah, nobody understands your teenage angst crap? I'm sure you've seen those posters that tell you to call kids help phone if you need help with anything but Don't. I mean it. It would be a serious waste for one of those people who actually save lives to actually come and help a pathetic excuse for human shit like you. Maybe I'm being a bit biased. Look babe, if you want to commit suicide, that's fine with me but don't give me the "across the street" cut crap. If you want to kill yourself, show me some "down the road"s alright? I'll even help you out. Just get me a belt, a door with an elevation of at least 100 cm, a suicide note expressing all your "held-in sadness and anger that nobody else understands", and some balls for you to actually go through with it.

So pretty much what this response is... Fuck you bitch. and that is going to be the same response for everything that you will ever talk to me for until i hear a "I'm Sorry" or at least something close to that that expresses your gratitude to everything that everyone has ever done for you which my reply will be "I forgive you."

 Second text:
Fuck you bitch.