Thursday, 26 May 2011

CRABFUCKINGCORE!

You dont know brutality until you know crabcore!


"For the most part, Crabcore is an offshoot of Christcore, with similar hairstyles, v-necks, tight pants and religious beliefs. It appears the only difference between the two (besides excessive vocoder usage, eurodance beats and unnecessary breakdowns every 30 seconds) is that followers of the crabcore persuasion will squat like a girl taking a piss in the woods during their power stances.

Much like the locomotion, macarena, watusi, cabbage patch, mashed potato, and even the urkel, the crabcore craze will be over sooner than it started. Ripped denim crotches everywhere are thankful."

Amen. 

Now why is crabcore so effective? 
Some scientists speculate that this movement is intended to emphasize the rhythm and beat of the break-down section in a song.


Where ever you go, don't forget. Crabcore it up. In school? Crabcore. At the mall? Crabcore. In church? Crabfuckingcore.  Life ain't worth living without the crab fucking core. 

Wanna watch some crabcore? Search Attack Attack! up. Crab fucking live fucking core fuck.

Thank the crabcore gods for blessing us with the creation of crabcore.

Thank you based god for Attack Attack, the missionaries of brutality.  

You don't like crabcore?
It's expressing their beliefs and it's very sad that they're being attacked for standing up for what they believe in. I'm glad they infuse happy electronic beats strangely out of place in their tame metal attack because they're making the point that Jesus can tame and conquer even the most abrasive demons, including those of metal. Standing up for your beliefs should never be mocked or looked down upon. Crabcore 4 lyfe.

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